Finding the Passion...again...

I used to have such a drive and a will to succeed. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. In the last 3 years, all of the passion I once had has completely disappeared. I'm not sure for the exact reason, whether it was the difficulty of finishing up school or the daunting task of taking on more. It could have been the amount of time I was away from the medical aspect of animals, but submerged in the management of horses in which I ended up hating.

Knowing I screwed up in college and I would have to get a Masters before I even thought about applying to Vet school is beyond what my brain can take right now, and THAT is overly depressing.

What happened to me???

I love to teach, and the more I think about it, the more I believe that a classroom is where I would like to end up, but is this a cop-out? Am I leaning on teaching because I can't mentally take going further in school? Maybe it's due to the fear of failing more than I already have..kind of a stop while I'm ahead reaction...but am I even 'ahead' at this point...not really.

When I write out my options, it seems silly to ask which is better. Of course I should give my original passion another chance to be re-ignited and immerse myself back into a veterinary setting and remind myself why I wanted to pursue it in the first place. Or should I try to start establishing myself as a teacher somewhere and just let it go.

I never excelled at the hard sciences when I got to A&M. I failed and I failed and I failed some more, and if that wasn't enough I failed again. Have I had enough signs already? Or was I just not focused and burnt out? But, Is it really worth paying for more school to find out?

I'm really trying to stay in good spirits, pretend like everything is okay, pretend like I have my life together. I have a strong personality, but this is slowly wearing it down.